No Tattoos!

I can look at this and see beauty...but it doesn't translate to my 5-year-old!
I can look at this and see beauty…but it doesn’t translate to my 5-year-old!

“I love you too much to argue!”

That became my mindless mantra this morning at approximately 6:45 a.m. when my tiny 5-year-old daughter started arguing with me about whether or not she could give herself another tattoo – this time in yellow ink because no one would see it that way. OMG.

On Saturday, we were arguing about belly button rings after she got up close and personal with some college cheerleaders post-game and realized that they in fact had beautiful earrings located in their tummy. She asked how she could get one of those and I told her she needed to be 18. She replied with a wistful, “I wish I was 18…” statement, delivered while staring dreamily off into her distant teenage future.

Keep in mind that she attended said football game with a completely pink, glittery head. She did it herself with the washout pink hairspray I purchased from Claire’s Boutique – to of course offset her desire to completely, permanently dye her hair pink.

What is going on? She is FIVE.

And she doesn’t argue like a 5-year-old. I am pretty sure I was saying things like “but all my friends get to,” or similar at that age. Instead, she’s telling me how I need to let her be her own person. That it’s her choices. That I can’t expect her to be just like me (no tattoos, extra piercings or pink hair) just because she’s my daughter. How do you argue with that rationale?

These conversations terrify me. On one hand…I could be very firm and tell her “no” and establish now that she’s got boundaries she needs to respect. On the other hand…I could let her tattoo the crap out of herself with magic marker and get it out of her system.

But what if my being super stern results in her being super rebellious in her teenage years? And what if my being all free-spirit, “do what makes you happy,” results not in her getting it out of her system, but instead makes her feel extremely confident in permanent black lip liner and tattoos at age 16?????

This is why I sometimes (a lot) hate parenting. The possibilities for screwing up our children are endless. ENDLESS!!!

And that’s why I love advice from “Love and Logic.” One of the free one-liners they provide on their website is “I love you too much to argue.” And boy did I use that one this morning. I don’t have the answers. You maybe do. But just in case you find one day you don’t…try that fabulous “I love you too much to argue.”

And…pssssst…if you DO happen to have the answers to this particular problem I’m having with my 5-year-old…your advice is GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Seriously…comments…email…tell me what to do!

Much Love! H

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2 thoughts on “No Tattoos!”

  • I love this post! I find that so often in life kids are being told what to do most of the time and so giving them age appropriate choices (like having glittery pink hair and yellow highlighter tattoos) makes them feel in control and that they finally got their way! It’s the reason I let my 2 year old wear Christmas doggy Jammies or a fireman costume for a year straight. Because in the long run, what does it matter? There’s a balance in parenting those children with strong wills. You want to be able to keep them in check without squashing their spirit. Keep it up mama. You’re doing a great job!

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  • This generation surely express their rights and freedom to be individuals! I cope with the same back and forth discussions that I as a child would never attempt to say to my parents. It will continue to be a challenge but at her age I would try a happy medium, I bought the hair hues (chalk type) coloring to put in my girls hair and they got over it quickly, just on their own as if it was a fad and they want something different. Temporary tattoos that you put on with water worked for me as well. Stay mama bear but have fun making memories 🙂

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