This blog post is a PSA for all you significant others out there. Do NOT ask the question, “Did you get a lot done today?” Especially don’t ask this question on day 5 of the teacher walkout in Arizona.

Of course, my husband asked the question.

I know his heart was in the right place. I’m trying to work on my novel and be better about writing in general, on top of making time for exercise, eating right and keeping the house less chaotic (to ever call it clean is to dream).

Oh, and then there’s also this little thing called work. I am extremely blessed to have a work-at-home gig that’s super flexible since I’m mostly a behind-the-scenes writer. But it still exists. I still have deadlines to meet and calls to discuss projects.

And on day 5 of the teacher walkout, I was behind on all of my “to-dos.” That’s simply a fact – not a commentary on what teachers were/weren’t doing or if it was right/wrong. This is not that blog post.

So…back to my story…The husband asked the question.

“Did you get a lot done today?”

He asked the question to a woman wearing the same yoga pants and t-shirt from the day before. A woman who clearly hadn’t showered or put on make-up. A woman at the end of her rope.

I wanted to respond with a “LOOK AROUND…WTF do you think!?!”

But I maturely answered with a firm “NO” and walked away mad as hell. And it got me thinking…why do they always ask this question? And then I realized, maybe it’s because they truthfully don’t understand how idiotic their question is, and they need to be straight up told…

DO NOT ASK THIS QUESTION.

Instead, try an empathetic phrase like, “I know it’s gotta be crazy with the kids home, do you need some time to accomplish what you want to do today?” 

I mean, come on. There’s times I go to the store for an hour and come home to all hell breaking lose. The kids had two make-up snow days before the walkout began…meaning, yup, I was more than halfway through unplanned-week #2 with the kids home when he asked.

Or if you can’t muster an empathetic phrase, try offering help, “Is there anything you want me to do?” 

Like – look around. We’re at the threshold of hell. It snowed/rained so I have muddy dog prints all over the tile and hardwood floor, the pile of dishes has again crawled out of the sink and onto the countertops and I’m wearing the SAME yoga pants and T-shirt from yesterday (which sadly, gets less acceptable as your children age).

Or you could ask me about a specific goal you know I’m working toward. But you damn well better muster up an empathetic phrase or offer to help me get it done (even if it’s giving me an hour to go exercise). Forget those important elements and you’re still putting yourself in harms way.

The safest bet? Keep your damn mouth shut.

Come home to complete chaos and wrap your un-showered wife up in a hug and kiss, and ask how her day was…not if she got a lot done.

Much Love – H

Continue Reading

I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse, but I've been gifted two amazing children eager for love. My son is as monogamous as they come - having been devoted to the same girl for nearly two years. My daughter also stayed true to her preschool love through her entire first year of kindergarten. Her lesson is the one I'm sharing today. Once upon a time, there was a preschool playhouse. My daughter…

We all know the quote, "Happiness is a journey, not a destination." But it wasn't until a couple months ago that I finally understood the quote. Happiness is a never ending journey and sometimes, it's f-ing exhausting. During one morning meditation, I got it: We are either moving towards the light or falling into darkness. There is no resting place. No "level" we reach and simply enjoy. Even buddhist monks must maintain their daily meditation practice.…

Week 2 of my Isagenix journey has me wondering if I'm one of those "one and done" kinda girls. Not sure what you're reading? Check out Giving in instead of giving up: An Isagenix journey, where I confess to buying into this system. But if you read that and follow my social accounts, you already know my journey began all sunshine and roses. That's over. Now I'm in Week 2. And It's not perfect. What…

I'm still learning how to be. Every day is a process of deconstructing "the rules" I adopted at a young age and strived to achieve. This includes the rules related to big holidays like Thanksgiving. Once I decided to stop "faking it," I realized how much needless pressure I've been putting on myself the past 39 years. And Thanksgiving is a big pressure holiday. The first year after after my mother-in-law passed away, my father-in-law…

I’m breaking down the walls of “Oh, sweetie, it’s just another day!” and laying out the honest-to-goodness “Do’s and Don’ts” of Mother’s Day Gift Giving. You can thank me later. ;) DO NOT Give me quality time with the kids. I know they’re the reason I’m being celebrated and all…and I LOVE being a mom, I do…but giving me extra time with the kids is something I’m gifted pretty darn often and honestly, I’m kinda…

I woke up at 3 a.m. Tuesday morning, panic-stricken that I am just like the American Idol contestant who is told their whole life by family and friends that they have an amazing voice…only to audition and learn they aren’t even average. My Tuesday morning panic was in relation to my writing and career shift. It’s not the first time I’ve had this feeling about something going on in my life and I know it…

How my mommy temper tantrum maybe saved my husband’s life.  Marriage. It’s so much fun. All. The. Time. Right? Not in my house. We have our ups and downs, and we work through most of them like adults (sorry, you won’t find many stories about those because they aren’t nearly as funny). But every so often, I give into my inner child and let her run WILD. This happened about 10 days ago, and it…

Age matters, but not your age – just your kids’ age. It’s something I’ve only recently realized, and my children are age 8 and 5. Sitting at a kids’ birthday party a couple weeks back, all the moms suddenly began to share how old they were. No surprise – I was the oldest. Older than some by more than a decade. Ouch. I started to check out of the conversation, thinking that I wouldn’t have…

Slowing down sounds good...great even...but it's harder than I thought. To understand, you need to know a little more about me: I'm always moving. I grew up determined to be successful. I was born into a successful family. Even my great grandparents attended college. My biggest fear was failure. No one put pressure to succeed on me. I put it on myself. I stayed on track during school - having fun along the way -…