progressLast year, I joked with friends that I was adding a little “Fall Fluff” to my life, in the form of weight gain. I tend to joke about everything instead of being like “WHOA – What is going on here!?!” and my fun-loving attitude translated into 15 pounds gained from the official start of fall through the holidays.

Then something strange happened – I didn’t lose the weight. I’ve always been able to fluctuate, but not last year. My extra pounds seemed extremely happy to stay. And stay. And stay…

Now it’s the following fall. I told myself months ago I was going to get serious. I got my mom turned onto Beach Body and LAST MARCH we started doing the 21-day fix together (she’s lost a lot of weight, and I’m super proud of her!).

I got grumpy about my diet and being hungry. Then I decided I just needed to eat “healthy,” and not be obsessed about food (I can skip desserts all day, every day…but pizza is my crack).

Nothing was changing. Not at all. So then I asked one of my friends to help me. She’s a personal trainer and could compete in fitness competitions if she so chose. She created a custom diet I didn’t feel hungry on and developed custom workouts.

You want to know how long I lasted on that? TWO WEEKS. I dropped a couple pounds pretty quickly so of course I gave up.

Then I decided my son’s acupuncturist had done a lot for him allergy-wise, maybe he could help me feel better. So after being diagnosed with liver chi stagnation and damp heat, I’m taking herbals and supplements. He said correcting this problem should help everything from sleep to inaccurate hunger signals…so who hoo! That was a month ago.

And now here I am…fresh off a Beach Body Challenge group, drinking my awful tasting herbal supplements and even reading a book titled “Younger Next Year” that reveals the magic bullet to staying healthy is 45-60 minutes of cardio a day (60%+ of your max heart rate).

I should have lost last year’s Fall Fluff and then some, right? Wrong.

Yesterday I shopped clearance bathing suits and realized I have chunky-looking cellulite on my ribs. I didn’t even know such a thing was possible!?! Needless to say, no swimsuit was purchased.

Embarrassed or newly motivated – not totally sure – I forced my butt on the treadmill for an hour today, ate a sensible breakfast and lunch and was feeling pretty good. So I clicked over onto the “Progress” tab of My Fitness Pal…and the pic above is what I saw.

I’ve deleted all the weight because it’s not about how much I weigh, it’s about the fact that it keeps going UP. Keep in mind that I never lost last year’s “Fall Fluff” and here I am adding another 5 pounds of it! None of my clothes fit. And I seriously had a conversation with my husband a little bit ago about how Sunday Night Football is perfectly paired with pizza and beer for dinner.

When am I going to realize that my metabolism apparently changed last fall (when I officially got closer to 40 than 30) and that my “Fall Fluff” isn’t so funny?

I want to be HEALTHY. Not skinny. Not a certain weight. And boy would it be nice if I could set a healthy example for my children.

But I guess I have to want it more than I want sleep, downtime, pizza or beer. I’m going to hold myself accountable on this blog. Why not, right? This “Fall Fluff” is definitely a part of my life’s etc, and maybe it’s a part of yours too.

I always proof my blog before posting…and re-reading this pissed me off. I think that’s a good thing. I need to stop wishing for it and start working for it…I think that’s a poster in the background of my 21-day fix videos, so I can’t claim credit for it – but I can embrace the concept and make the next three months “Progress” image show me a line heading in the right direction – DOWN.

Buh-bye “Fall Fluff.” You were funny last year, but this year, you gotta go!

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