It’s a beautiful 76 degrees outside (hack, hack, hack), and I’m inside trying natural remedy number 1,586 (that’s an estimate) to get rid of my summer cold. I think in all of seasonal sickness – nothing is as nasty as a summer cold.

Pause for extreme coughing fit.

Where was I? Ah yes – Summer is meant to be spent frolicking outdoors with the kids, not talking with your pharmacist about cocktailing different drugs to find relief.

Instead of spending money on ice cream at the pool, I’m dropping $50 at a time in different cold meds and praying for a full night’s sleep (that hasn’t happened by the way – not since last Thursday and today is Tuesday).

And because I’m an info junkie, every minute that I’m not spitting up more gross stuff from my lungs, I’m online looking for some type of smoking gun that will tell me exactly why I got sick, how to get better and how to never, ever get sick again.

I’m a little amused (and annoyed) by what I’ve found. For example…

Apparently, people who consume 25 percent fewer calories than their Daily Recommended Intake are healthier. So, while I feel like death on a diet – longingly staring at my kids’ snack pack of Cheetos – I guess I’m less likely to get sick. Dammit.

Eating processed foods – like the entire meal I prepared for dinner last night – puts my body in a constant state of inflammation, which makes it more susceptible to nasty colds like the one I have now.

This is a big f-ing problem for me, because I don’t know how to cook…like, at all. My mom does and I grew up enjoying delicious varieties of meals. But I was never interested enough to pay attention.

And because I am so miserable and determined to never get sick again, I set out to the grocery store ready to buy all 15 of the “15 Immune-Boosting Foods to Eat Regularly.”

It included things like Quinoa and Lentils. I also wanted to make a “power-packed” soup recipe I found featuring shallots…I had to google WTF a shallot is!?! And then I couldn’t find it at the store and was way too embarrassed to ask:

“Hi there, yes…I’m nearly 40 years old and I have no idea what a shallot is or where to find it at this store. Also, while I’ve ordered lentils at restaurants, I’ve never actually made them. Where are they and how do I prepare them?”

I ended up skipping the lentils, and saw online that a shallot is a weird-looking onion, so I’m sorta hoping I can use a regular onion and the recipe won’t taste terrible. If I’m way wrong – please let me know as I’m not making the soup today!

But beyond all that, I found the worst news of all in some obscure “What does your cough mean?” article.

A cough is merely a SYMPTOM of the ILLNESS and cannot be treated by itself. Even worse, antibiotics are largely ineffective in killing cough-laden viruses and the illness just needs to run its course.

This is the part where I have a full blown “mommy’s sick” temper tantrum.

I wanted to cry. I was all prepared to call my doctor and get a Z-pack or something prescribed so that this misery could end. Instead, I’m taking my zinc losenges, eating kiwi, drinking lemon water, dosing myself with tablespoons of raw honey and looking forward to the day when I get to lie down to sleep (did I forget to mention I can only sleep reclined in a chair because the congestion is so bad?).

UGH. Summer cold, I curse you!

Hack, hack, hack, hack, hack…

Much Love – H

 

 

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It’s been nearly a month since I’ve posted. (interruption from small, sick child who needs to be hydrated) And that’s the reason why. I have been stuck with sick. It began with C and a short-lived bug just before Easter, followed up with a weird high-fever one-day stomach bug with A the next week, followed by full-blown nasty, horrible sick starting on April 27. It’s now 10 days later. Actually…now it’s 12 days later because…